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February 28, 2006

Cheney's Got a Gun Lyrics (Part 2)

We found more lyrics to our new favorite song: Cheney's Got a Gun at Daily Nugget:

Dum, dum, dum, Cheney what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound of my gun
Dum, dum, dum, Cheney what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound, it's the sound...
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah....

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
His whole world's come undone
From shootin' quail on the run
What did poor Harry do
What did he put you through

They say when Cheney lost investments
He swore to give Harry pain
That lawyer had it comin'
Now that Cheney's Got A Gun
He ain't never gonna be the same

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
The Newsday's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Tell me now it's untrue
What will McClellan do

He shot the crooked lawyer
The man has got to be insane
They say the lawyer might just die
They can't cover up the lie
He'll go on FOX and look like he's in pain

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
What did Harry do
With Cheney's last I.O.U.

He had to take him down easy
And put some pellets in his brain
He said that mofo lost my cash
I'll put some pellets in his ass
He ain't never gonna be the same

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
Everybody is on the run

Cheney's Got A Gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody's on the run (Honey, honey what's your problem)
'Cause Cheney's Got A Gun (Tell me it ain't right)
Cheney's Got A Gun (Was it the lost investments)
His dog day's just begun (That made you scream at night)
Cheney's Got A Gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody's on the run
Cheney's Got A Gun

Posted by David at 03:37 PM |

New Yorker Cover

Vice President Cheney has to say his prayers every night and hope that this scandal passes. It will. They all do. But you know it's not dying down when the New Yorker puts you on its cover. OUCH!

Cheney_cover_newyorker.jpg

Posted by David at 03:34 PM |

February 27, 2006

Happy Anniversary to VicePresident.US

Can you believe it... we made it to our 1 week anniversary!!!

Happy Anniversary to us!!!

Posted by David at 08:31 AM |

February 24, 2006

Dick Cheney Fan Club

Would you believe that there are people out there who actually like Dick Cheney? I'm so shocked by this that I have decided to dedicate today's entry to these folks.

Deadeye_Dick.jpg

Again, we have to point out that our views on the Vice President have nothing to do with politics. We pretty much haven't had respect for any Veep dating back years. It seems to us that anyone who adamantly supports Dick Cheney either blindly follows a single political party (we caution against such an action with regard to any political party or politician) or is joking. Take a look at these sites and decide for yourself.

The Unofficial Dick Cheney Fan Club
Founder of the Fan Club
Cheney Chicks
Cheney Is the Man!
The White House: Yeah, we think this site is a little biased... but who knows what will happen if the Dems win in 2008
WhiteHouse.org: Contains redacted information on the Vice President. Far superior (and funnier) than the real White House site.
The Officious Shop of the White House
VicePresidents.com: It sounds unbiased. I haven't had a chance to read it. Lynn Cheney: She seems to be a big fan and the White House gave her her own site.

Posted by David at 08:44 AM |

February 23, 2006

Cheney Hunting in the Boondocks

Aaron McGruder spent the early part of this week in Boondocks musing over our favorite subject of the week: Dick Cheney Hunting. You know you've messed up when you see the comics (not political cartoons) making fun of you.

[On a side note, there is a billboard near my house for a Boondocks TV show. It says that it is at 11PM but neglects to state the channel it is on. That's not the most effective advertising.]

Cheney on Bookdocks

Cheney on Bookdocks

Cheney on Bookdocks

Posted by David at 08:47 AM |

February 22, 2006

Double Threat: Cheney & Kennedy

Another submission from our regular reader (he's been here both of the days we've been live). He found this one at Fark. We're moving this to the top of the queue as it is bipartisan mockery. We don't hold anything against either party, we think both partieshave sold us out.

Double Threat: Cheney & Kennedy

Posted by David at 06:00 AM |

February 21, 2006

Cheney with the NRA

One of our loyal (OK, first time) readers sent in this image from Daily Kos. If a picture is worth 1,000 words, this entry is now 1,028 words.

Cheney with the NRA

Posted by David at 08:06 AM |

History Changing Hunting Trip

Niall Ferguson wrote a great piece on this hunting trip which "changed the course of history". In it, he ties together the "Cheney's Got a Gun" incident and the "Plame Game" so I have added this entry to both categories. Oh, and he's funny so I thought it worthy to quote the piece in its entirety.



Not the president, but close

EVERY COMEDIAN in America has been having a gag-fest at the expense of Vice President Dick Cheney, who accidentally shot his 78-year-old "acquaintance," Harry Whittington, while hunting quail in Texas. In the face.

"Thank you, Jesus," whispered Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show." I have no doubt that in the course of his long and successful life as an attorney and businessman in Austin, Texas, Whittington has brought happiness to many people. But never can he have brought as much happiness as he did last week by getting shot by the vice president.

Hunting trips occasionally change the course of history. Trotsky's decision to go duck shooting instead of attending Lenin's funeral gave Stalin the perfect opportunity to begin his political marginalization. Cheney's trip to the Armstrong Ranch has had the opposite effect. Far from marginalizing the vice president, it has brought him center stage — his least-favorite location.

At some point, when the history books get written, the question will have to be asked: Was George W. Bush the 43rd president of the United States, or was it actually Dick Cheney? The official line — conveyed in Bob Woodward's books "Bush at War" and "Plan of Attack" — is that Cheney is no more than the president's self-effacing, loyal and trusty servant. Even in private, he deferentially calls Bush "Mr. President." Yet you have to wonder if this is not the veep's idea of irony.

Consider for a moment the vice president's vastly greater experience with Washington politics. Since being promoted by President Ford from deputy secretary of Defense to White House chief of staff at the tender age of 34, Cheney has lived and breathed the stale air of the corridors of power. He was already secretary of Defense when President Bush's father went to war against Iraq in 1991. It's no wonder he's Bush's No. 1 consigliere. "I see Dick all the time," Bush has said.

Now consider the key events of the Bush presidency. Each one of them bears Cheney's unmistakable imprint. For a start, it was Cheney who, as president of the Senate, used all his Beltway savvy to push through Bush's first big tax cut in 2001. And no one pressed harder than Cheney for widening the war on terror to include Saddam Hussein.

Sure, on one occasion Bush rejected his advice. That was when Cheney argued against trying to get a second U.N. Security Council resolution before invading. But this is the exception that proves the rule.

It was Cheney who, on Aug. 26, 2002, started the drumroll for war with a speech dismissing the effectiveness of U.N. weapons inspectors and flatly stating: "There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction [and] … that he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies and against us." This, he insisted, was "as great a threat as can be imagined" — note that word "imagined."

It also was Cheney who asserted that there were links between Iraq and Al Qaeda, insisting: "We've got to do it because it's the convergence of terrorism and weapons of mass destruction." It was Cheney who flew to the Middle East to square the other Arab states on the eve of the war; Cheney who made sure the Saudis were on the inside track; Cheney who invited the Iraqi opposition leaders to the White House.

"Cheney was beyond hellbent for action against Saddam," writes Woodward, almost certainly paraphrasing Colin Powell. "It was as if nothing else existed." If anyone had war "fever" in 2003, according to Powell, it was Cheney.

Yet it also was Cheney who argued that "we need to have a light hand [in Iraq] in the postwar phase." It was Cheney who reassured senators: "I think we'll be greeted as liberators." And no prizes for guessing which member of the administration has been most intransigent in the face of demands that the United States renounce torture.

Man was born free, wrote Jean-Jacques Rousseau, but he is everywhere in chains. George W. Bush was born freer than most. But he is everywhere in Cheney.

Finally, and perhaps crucially, it is Cheney's former chief of staff, "Scooter" Libby, who is facing charges of perjury, making false statements and obstruction of justice in the case arising from the exposure of Valerie Plame as a CIA agent. The leak apparently was designed to discredit her husband after he publicly rubbished claims that Hussein had tried to acquire uranium from Niger. Now I wonder whose idea that might have been?

At the end of the interview he gave Wednesday, Cheney was asked if, as vice president, he had the authority to declassify information. Cheney: "There is an executive order to that effect." Interviewer: "There is?" Cheney: "Yes." Interviewer: "Have you done it?" Cheney: "Well, I've certainly advocated declassification and participated in declassification decisions." Interviewer: "You ever done it unilaterally?" Cheney: "I don't want to get into that."

This exchange raises the question: What's the difference between "Scooter" Libby and Harry Whittington? Answer: Cheney shot Whittington in the face, not the back.

Posted by David at 07:48 AM |

February 20, 2006

New $10 Bill to Keep up with History

Harry Whittington $10 Bill

By now you've heard that our Vice President (quick, name him!) shot a man.

Cheney is only the second sitting Vice President to shoot a man. The first was Aaron Burr who shot and killed Alexander Hamilton. And as a tribute to the man, Hamilton is on the $10 bill (so what if he was also the first Secretary of the Treasury).

Here is our tribute to Harry Whittington, the man Cheney shot. We extend our best wishes Mr. Whittington and his family and wish him a quick recovery. We know Vice President Cheney did NOT intentionally shoot the man and he feels quite bad about this... even if at one point he blamed Mr. Whittington for being where he was firing.

Enjoy the new $10 bill. We do! And remember, if you have any comments, suggestions or great Veep stories, write to us at vicepresident.us@gmail.com.

If you like the new Harry Whittington bill, please Digg it!


Harry Whittington $10 Bill

Posted by David at 07:50 AM | | TrackBacks (1)

Vice Presidents Day 2007

When we were growing up, there were 2 holidays in February (our apologies to our readers south of the Mason-Dixon Line): Washington's Birthday and Lincoln's Brithday. To be politically correct to all citizens of our great country, the two holidays were combined to one and thus was born Presidents Day.

We want to bring back a second February holiday. We think that government and bank employees will forever love VicePresident.US if we succeed. Who deserves a holiday? Hmmmm. Who gets no respect? Rodney Dangerfield's birthday was November 22nd and that's too close to Thankgiving. I KNOW! The Vice President of the US. That's it!

We propose a new holiday: Vice Presidents Day! And we have the perfect day, February 11th (or the nearest Monday to it). Yes, that is the day that our current Vice President (quick, name him!) made history and shot a man. That seems like a fitting day to immortalize.

Write to your Senator and him or her to get a move on it. You know that they have to suck up to the Vice President as he gets to head up the Senate when he wants to or when they can't agree (he gets to break ties).

There is still time to get an extra day off next year! And just think, you can sit around all day and do what the Vice President does... oh wait, he doesn't do nothing. He shoots people and we do not condone that.

Posted by David at 07:49 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

Quayle Hunting?

Have you wondered if Cheney was really gunning for another Vice President and not a bird? You know, Quayle and not quail. We've found several games online where you can be Cheney and you get a gun to hunt. Take a look:

The Huffington Post offers up a the cartoon above and a not-so-live Scalia and Cheney hunting cartoon.

The Huffington Post also has a real Cheney Quail Hunting game. This is a must-play!

YTMND brings us Dick Hunt for Nintendo (no, it's not real, just funny).

Now, this one has absolutely nothing to do with Cheney shooting Whittington but it is Cheney as Scarface. Funny stuff (but not recommended for children).

If you have seen more, please add them in the comment section below!

Posted by David at 07:48 AM |

Lyrics for "Cheney's Got a Gun"

I heard a version of this song on the radio and found 3 versions online. It seems that there is no reason for us to create one for VicePresident.us. Put Aerosmith on and sing along!

From Ubersite

Dum, dum, dum, Cheney what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound of your hunting gun
Dum, dum, dum, Cheney what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound, it's the sound...
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah....

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
His whole world's come undone
From lookin' straight at the sun
What did Harry Whittington do
What did he refuse to do

They say when Saddam was arrested
They found him in a drain
But man, he had it comin'
Now that Cheney's Got A Gun
Iraq ain't never gonna be the same

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
It's the Republican solution
Now the muslims are on the run
Tell me now it's untrue
What did Harry Whittington do

He jacked the little sanctioned country
The man has got to be insane
They say the spell that he was under
The riches and the plunder
Knew that someone had to stop Hussein

Run away, run away Hussein
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away Hussein
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
It's the Republican solution
Now his hunting party is on the run
What did Harry Whittington do
It's Cheney's daily I.O.U.

He had to take Iraq down easy
And send the Army far away
He said 'cause nobody believes me
They got WMDeezeys
The world ain't never gonna be the same

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
Everybody is on the run

Cheney's Got A Gun
It's the Republican solution
Now everybody's on the run (Saddam, what's your problem)
'Cause Cheney's Got A Gun (Tell me it ain't right)
Cheney's Got A Gun (Was it Bush's nation robbin')
It's the Republican solution
Cheney's Got A Gun
It's the Republican solution
Now everybody's on the run
Cheney's Got A Gun


From Famous James

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
Whole world's come undone
Iraqis have ink on their thumbs
Elections in Baghdad were free
But now we're wiretapped regularly

Cheney won't ever be arrested
Even though the man's clearly deranged
But man, he's got it comin'
Because Cheney's Got A Gun
The world ain't never gonna be the same

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
The story was suppressed for a day
While Cheney thought of what the press would say
He'll tell us now it's untrue
What did Dick Cheney do?

He shot an elderly attorney
The man has got to be insane
He said that his friend stepped in front
Of all the quail that he was hunting
And that someone else must be to blame

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
The world's dark day's just begun
Even though Osama's on the run
Afghans and Iraqis fell like trees
But it's Iran that has WMD's

He shot an elderly attorney
And put a bullet in his brain
He thought that "everyone believes me,
I won't look like such a sleeze"
He ain't never gonna take the blame

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
Cheney's Got A Gun
Everybody is on the run

Cheney's Got A Gun
World's dark day's just begun
Now everybody's on the run (Cheney, Cheney what's your problem)
'Cause Cheney's Got A Gun (Tell me it ain't right)
Cheney's Got A Gun (Was it Halliburton's pension robbin')
Her dog day's just begun (That made you scream at night)
Cheney's Got A Gun
World's dark day's just begun
Now everybody's on the run
Cheney's Got A Gun


From Hollinet

Dumb, dumb, dumb Cheney what have you done
Dumb, dumb, dumb it's the sound of your gun
Dumb, dumb, dumb Cheney what have you done
Dumb, dumb, dumb it's the sound, it's the sound...
Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His whole world's come undone
Was looking straight at the sun
What did Dick Cheney do?
What did his friend go through

They say the EMT's attested
They found the buckshot in his face
But man, he had it comin'
Now that Cheney's got a gun
Things ain't never gonna be the same

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His long week's just begun
Comedians havin' fun
Tell us now it's untrue
What did the VP do

He shot his shotgun without caution
The man has got to be insane
They say the stress that he was under
Was just a little blunder
And that buckshot doesn't cause much pain

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His long week's just begun
Comedians havin' fun
What did the V.P. do
The NRA's IOU

He had to make it look easy
And put some buckshot in his brain
He said cause everyone believes me
That aimin' ain't that easy
And FOX news won't make me take the blame

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
Everybody is on the run

Cheney's got a gun
His long week has just begun
Now everybody is on the run (Cheney, Cheney what's your problem)
Cause Cheney's got a gun (Tell me it ain't right)
Cheney's got a gun (Was it Cheney's way of talkin')
His long week has just begun (That made you scream at night)
Cheney's got a gun
His long week has just begun
Now everybody's on the run
Cheney's got a gun

From TPM Cafe

Cheney's got a gun, Cheney's got a gun
The whole world's on the run
Great news for Halliburton
What did poor Iraq do?
What is it going thru?
They say He turned the biddings over, and Halliburton's going insane!
The other oil-filled nations, see that Cheney's got a gun and
they ain't never gonna be the same!

Cheney's got a gun, Cheney's got a gun
Libya's nose has run
Bin Laden's having too much fun!
Americans feels so renewed
It's safe to travel and buy shoes!
The price others have to pay-pay
So George is elected again!
Iran has got it comin' while Libya's balls are hanging and
Gaddafi hides his head in shame!

Run Away, 'Cos His daughter's so GAY yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run awaaaaay

Cheney's Got a Gun, Cheney's Got a Gun
Your dog day's just begun
Screw all your possessions
What did Bushes daddy do?
Damned us all to get screwed!
He jacked Iraq up with them weapons, Saddam was his Bestest Friend!
Now his son pretends that's hogwash, Saddam is such a threat and
We're all in for a lotta pain!

Cheney's Got a Gun
Cheney's Got a Gun
Cheney's Got a Gun
Everybody's on the Run

From Karavans

Dum, dum, dum, Cheney what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it's the sound of his shotgun.
Dum, dum, dum, Cheney what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it's the sound

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His whole world's come undone
From lookin' straight at the sun
What did Harry Whittington do?
What did he put you through?
They said when Cheney was arrested
they found him in a bunker again
But man, he had it comin'
Now that Cheney's got a gun he ain't never gonna be the same.

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Tell me now it's untrue.
What did Harry Whittington do?
He stopped bribes completely
The man has got to be insane
They say the spell that he was under the in-fighting and the
taint knew that someone had to stop the gravy train...

Run away, run away from the Plame yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the Plame yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
What did Harry Whittington do?
It's Cheney's last I.O.U.
He had to take him down easy and put a hundred pellets in his brain
He said 'cause nobody believes me. The man was such a sleeze.
He ain't never gonna be the same.

Run away, run away from the Plame yeah, yeah
yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the Plame yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
Everybody is on the run

Cheney's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Because Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Cheney's got a gun.

Posted by David at 07:47 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

Presidents Day 2006

News Flash: Vice President Cheney shot a man on February 11, 2006, a day that will live in infamy!

Yes, Cheney shot a man. [Recently Jon Lovitz was on Sit Down Comedy with David Steinberg. Lovitz did an entire Woody Allen skit where he said "I shot a moose" exactly as Woody Allen did. Please use that same voice to say that Cheney shot a man. Listen to the podcast.]

News Flash: Launch of VicePresident.US on February 20, 2006

Today is the official launch of VicePresident.US... oh, and what a coincidence, it also happens to be Presidents Day.

How did we get here?

4 years ago (yes, that is an important amount of time for a Vice President) we registered the domain vicepresident.us and had no idea what to do with it. We knew that we wanted to set up a site to mock Vice Presidents in general and whoever was living at Number One Observatory Circle. The voters do such a good job picking men who are easy to mock (or is it the President or the parties... it doesn't matter does it?)

Some say that the Vice Presidency is the most underrated job in government. Others say that the Vice President does nothing but wait for the President to die, dare we say, lie in wait? We decided to take a look and see throughout history (yeah but more in the present), what does the VP really do?
VicePresident.US will continue reporting on this story as long as it is newsworthy. We're going to be here for a long time to keep you posted on current news and historical facts about the Vice President of the US... especially if it's funny.

Our current Vice President (quick, name him!) Dick Cheney has been making it too hard to resist. [Note: We are centrists and plan to go on for years making fun of current and past Vice Presidents so while Blues can revel in the site now, we'll make sure that there is humor for Reds as well.]

Come on... he shot a man.

Here's what makes VicePresident.US so great... we can say things like "We don't want Cheney to Vice President Us." In this case, we don't want him to shoot us while hunting. Let's say he were to out a undercover CIA operative (he wouldn't really do that, would he?), again we don't want him to Vice President Us. Send us your thoughts on who has been Vice Presidented. You can reach us at vicepresident.us@gmail.com.

Posted by David at 07:46 AM |

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